Fear of Failure

BFF, you are so right when addressing the idea of transparency.  I believe the most difficult part of being transparent is showing that we are not perfect.  Gasp!!!  Now, some will challenge that notion and say, "I don't think I'm perfect."  However, if we really take a long hard look at ourselves, though we may not see ourselves as perfect, perfect is how we want to be seen. 

I will be the first to admit that I haven't always been transparent so much so that I would try to fool myself into believing that everything is ok all of the time.  LOL!  Insane, right!  So!  I'm going to take your last blog as a challenge for me to be more transparent.  Starting now....

On yesterday, I realized that my biggest downfall or the one thing that has impeded my success is the fear of failure.  I've always heard that fear can keep you from success but I never believed I was fearful.  Earlier in life I considered myself to be a go-getter - one to go after what she wants and I did go after many things.  However, it occurred to me that my pursuits have been more on the safe side.  Ambitions that I knew I could attain.  On the flip-side, when it came to ideas or dreams that were more of a stretch, I failed miserably.  The reason being, I didn't try....

In previous blogs, I shared that I've had so many ideas, dreams, visions of which I've wanted to pursue.  Excited about each new idea, I would first have to buy a new notebook to write it down, talk passionately about it to those who were close to me, and then nothing.  I learned that the "nothing" came from fear.  I actually talked myself out of it regardless of how many people said it was a great idea.  I would convince myself that it wouldn't be good enough or it wasn't needed.  I hate to admit it but being transparent, I would think that I wasn't good enough to do it.  I felt like I was missing something.....

I was...  I was missing confidence.  I believe that through this blog, I will be able to defeat the fear that has resided in me and increase my confidence in pursuing my dreams.  As we continue to grow, I want our readers to be inspired, be transparent, be confident, and catch their dreams!

~ Tonya

Transparency

Thanks, friend.  I needed that.  I guess I'll have to make that my daily affirmation too.  Tonya, the other day you asked me what our blog is supposed to accomplish.  My response to you was that I want us to inspire others to catch their dreams.  Your question stuck with me though and caused me to take a step back. 

When I decided to commit to blogging, it was because I wanted to document my journey to catching my dreams.  And I realized that this cannot be done without some level of transparency.  I must be willing to be real every day and every single time that I post it must be what's true for me at that moment, or else it's all a lie.   My life won't be roses and sunshine everyday.  Still, the reader should be able to benefit from the posts no matter what.  I'd like to convey to the readers that stormy, rainy days should be expected on their journey, but these times won't last.  The same is true for the good times.  My posts should be a story about the journey of the whole person; this would include my mental state, accomplishments, and failures...because you know that there will be failures.

Nonetheless, I hope that my posts will inspire someone else to try.  This way, even if you fail the first time around, it will still be regarded as an accomplishment.  So with that said, I make a promise that my posts will do just that from now on.

A Great Day to Conquer the World

As I peruse facebook, I constantly encounter posts that read, "It's just another day."  It seems that not only you, bff, but many others are discouraged day in and out.  There are days when we're motivated and riding high but then there are days where we're at what seems to be our lowest.  However, I dare to challenge those feelings of despair, anxiety, discouragement or any of the feelings that keep us low and say that today is a GREAT day to conquer the world! 

Really, it's all in our attitude.  Like, the words spoken at Pheona's wedding, we have to wake up each day and say "Today is a great day."  By waking up with a positive attitude and affirming words, it will dictate how we react to the challenges we face for that day. 

Did you ever watch the cartoon, "Animaniacs"?  One of the mini-cartoons of that of "Pinky and the Brain" and their goal each episode was to conquer the world.  Though they were never successful, each time they had a plan and never gave up.  I think we have to have the same drive and ambition.  We must conquer the world by operating in our gifts and talents no matter where we are in life - even if we're in the development states.  It's one step closer to conquering the world.

With that said, my morning affirmations from today forward will be, "It's a Great Day to Conquer the World!"

~ Tonya

inevitable uncertainty?

I like the whole carving concept, because there are definitely some things that have to be cut and the decision to do something differently is a decision to walk against the crowd.

I often find myself looking for inspiration.  I listen for it in what others say, I read anything in sight, or I may come up with something catchy myself. After I find it, it sticks for a few days.  Yeah...so for a few days I am sitting on top of the world.  Then something ruffles my feathers and I'm back where I started-looking for inspiration again.  Is there an antidote for this or is this just the way that it will always be?  Life has so many uncertainties and being the person that I am, I absolutely hate uncertainty.  Still, it's the world that I live in.  I have so many questions right now.  Some days I feel as though I have all of the answers; other days I don't even have one.  I want so much.  I wish for so much, but is it really what I want?  Do I even know what I want?  I guess today may just be one of those days...

                                                                                                                    -Daphne-

Carving Myself Out of the Wall

I totally agree with you that determination is key and I have taken on a new determination.  For 33 years I have always felt more comfortable blending into the walls.  Actually, if I could be behind a wall and absolutely no one sees me would make it even better.  I've never been the one to want the spotlight on me.  Always a shy and bashful child growing up, I grew up to be a shy and bashful adult although some of my friends beg to differ.  Last week, I had a conversation with one of my bosses and he plainly stated, "You have to carve yourself out of the wall."  This bomb, if you will, was dropped on me after sharing with him my goals and aspirations as it relates to my career.  His words hit home hard!

So with that said, I am now determined to carve myself out of the wall.  Not sure how that will look but I look forward to sharing the progress on our blog....

More to come.....

~ Tonya

Determination is powerful

Yeah, your friend was right.  I second that emotion.  You definitely accomplish what you are determined about.  When you became determined to work out,  you did.  When you became determined that you wanted another job,  you found one.  When you became determined to move from TN, you did.  Girl, sometimes we fail to realize just how successful we've been at accomplishing the goals that we set our minds to.  I'd be willing to place a wager that there isn't one of these instances where you didn't get your desired results.  Just think about it.  Determination is powerful.  Basically, it allows you the courage to look into the face of impossibility and dare it to stand in your way. 

I realized that my last post didn't include anything about my workouts.  Yes, I did reinstate them, and I managed to workout 3 days last week.  Pray for me this week, because it's hard.  I guess I need to remind myself that determination is powerful...

                                                                                                                  Daphne

More than Talk

Wow!  You really did it.  You purchased the ticket.  Now, the next step is to actually attend the event.  You know how we do....we get so far then stop.  I will be expecting a post about your experience.

This year is definitely going to be more than just talk.  We have talked and talked and talked until finally it's time to make things happen.  We've had so many visions for our lives and I know that it will come to fruition.  The blog is an indicator of our commitment to action versus dialogue.  Our conversation on Saturday was great.  A lof ot times as I'm sharing with you, it encourages me as well which is why I always loved our Saturday talks. 

It's true that we make time for the things we want and some times for things we don't want.  We're both somewhat stubborn people and when we put our minds to something we get it done.  I think that we need to channel that stubborness in a way that it will become discipline.  I was talking to a friend of mine on Friday and I was telling him that I didn't have much discipline.  He said, "Tonya, yes you do have discipline.  Didn't you stop eating meat 2 years ago?"  It didn't occur to me that I apply discipline to certain areas of my life and when I'm committed to something there's no swaying me.  In the same way, I have to apply that same discipline to all areas of my life. 

So, what book am I reading?  I have begun reading "Becoming a Person of Influence" by John C. Maxwell.  My goal is to develop leadership skills and learn how to use the gifts/talents that are in me - the Introvert.   I'll speak more on being an introvert in my next post.

~ Tonya

Credibility

Yes!  Yes, I purchased my ticket to the Savor Dallas International Grand Tasting and I am so proud of myself and excited about attending.  We both have a long list of  the things that we'd like to experience, which includes the places that we've always wanted to go.  Well, attending a cooking event, hosted by a chef, has always been right at the top of my list.  Still, if we didn't have this blog, it would always just be something that I'd like to do.  I never would have accomplished it.  It's crazy, but the only reason why I haven't done it in the past is just because I wasn't willing to sit down and look for an event.  However, those days of being lazy are over. 

So, I contacted Shae and got her address for the song.  At that time, she informed me that I'll have to find a way to send her a cd of my song.  Now, I really wasn't planning to spend any money on a professional recording, so I had no earthly idea how I would accomplish this.  But, you really made a valid point during our Saturday conversation.  You said that we find ways to do everything that we really want to do.  You added that if I really wanted to find a way to do this, then I'd take the rest of the weekend to figure it out...and I did.  I learned how to transfer a song from a cassette to a cd, so I don't have to spend a lot of money on a professional recording.  I can send a true rough draft of the song to her.  Right now, I'm still learning how to play it, but I'll definitely have it recorded and out to her before the end of the quarter.

You know, this blog was a really good idea.  I just purchased my Savor Dallas ticket today, which is horrible because I procrastinated.   Still,  I knew that I couldn't post again without purchasing my ticket.  In the past, we set goals and were supposed to be accountable to each other, but I'd simply shrug it off when you asked me about it.  Now, you're asking me in public, so I'm obligated to make myself look credible :)  Honestly, I like that.  I like it a lot.  So...what book are you reading?

                                                                                                         -Daphne-

Day 6

Wow, Dap!  You're on it!  I'm glad you've started the year with a bang.  Keep the fireworks coming!  Did you buy the ticket for that cooking class???

It's the 6th day of 2011 and it's already a wonderfully blessed year.  I'm already learning a lot from my new bosses and know that they will have a positive influence on me as a grow and develop in leadership.  I have set some pretty aggressive goals and I'm ready to tackle each one.  One of my first goals as a part of reinventing myself is to read a book per month.  I know that's not much for some people but I have to start somewhere. Right?  I figured if I can get one book down I can increase it as time progresses.  Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I have actually posted a calendar in the house and have been sticking to it.  I am so excited about this year.  I've already started it differently than all of the previous years. 

Gotta keep it going!

~ Tonya

Starting with a bang!

Happy New Year!!!  Well, 2011 is well underway and I am happy to report that I am off to a great start.   I got back into the routine of working out today.  It was my first time working out in 4 months.  I must admit that it was a bit of a challenge to get myself motivated.  After work,  I've grown accustomed to coming home and plopping down to watch TV.  Usually, I don't move until it's time to get ready for bed, so pulling myself up to work out was a major accomplishment.

Also, I've started on my song.  I called Shae to get her address and she informed me that she needed a cd, because she doesn't have a cassette player.  I have been working on creating the music for her song, but I don't know how to transfer the music from my keyboard onto a cd.  I guess I'll have to figure it out before March, huh.  I also have to figure out how to maximize my time on my goals, so that I can accomplish all of them by my deadline.

Finally, I have also found the cooking event that I am going to attend-Savor Dallas. The more that I think about it, the more that I realize that I probably need to purchase my ticket tonight, so that I won't back out or give myself a chance to make excuses.  Hence, I'm going to buy my ticket as soon as I'm done writing.  Well, as you can see, my new year is off with a bang and I am very excited about what my future holds.  I'll definitely keep you updated on my progress...Signing out!!!

                                                                                                              Daphne

New Year; Fulfilled Dreams

2011 is upon us and like you I am excited about what this year will bring.  It will definitely be a year of fulfilled dreams.  I had to take some time to truly ponder on expectations/aspirations for 2011 and I finally have it.  It came by way of watch night service at Friendship West Baptist Church.  Pastor Haynes talked about the importance of re-inventing onself.  Well there you have it!  I will be totally re-inventing myself in 2011.  First thing first, I will stop talking and start acting.  My goal is to continue growing and I am being re-invented so that in 2012 I will be a new person with some dreams fulfilled and pursuing others. 

In the words of Bishop T.D. Jakes, "Get Ready, get ready, get ready!"

~ Tonya